I like to pretend that I’m a far better and fulfilled person than I really am. That I’ve changed, especially on the outside: high-heeled, business attire, serious attitude, etc.

But I start to laugh whenever I stuck my shoe in a threshold, when my hair feels the need to be rebel and to express its personality or whenever I get to make a blunder. The inside has remained the same: still crude and clumsy, playful, naive and hopeful.

And moreover, why would it change? However this whole “serious and responsible” life feels like chocking me sometimes. I need “my own private space” in which I can express myself.

I wonder: Are the other grownups so serious also on their inside? Aren’t they boring? Do they have a shallow inner life?

Does the fact that I have a job that pays my rent and my expenses make me a grownup? When will I stop feeling like a child? Is there a moment in life when you can say: “Yes! I am, I feel and I act like a mature person now!”?